This isn’t a reading list I put together for the internet. It’s my actual bookshelf — the books I bought, borrowed, highlighted, and in some cases copied into a calligraphy notebook at midnight because the words needed to move slowly through my hands before they could settle.
Some of these I read before I knew I was autistic. Some I read after. Some I read for myself. Some I bought for my children. All of them changed something — not always dramatically, but enough that I kept them, or went back.
I’ll keep adding to this page as I read. If you’ve found a book that helped you on a similar journey, I’d love to hear about it.
Books That Held Me After Diagnosis
These are not autism books. They are books about meaning, suffering, and how to keep going — books I first read through my years in palliative care and returned to after my late diagnosis at 39. I wrote about why in I Didn’t Read Any Autism Books After My Diagnosis.
Man’s Search for Meaning — Viktor E. Frankl
Meaning is made, not given. I first read this as a young clinician sitting with dying patients. I reread it after diagnosis, and this time it was aimed inward. The argument is deceptively simple and impossibly hard: an ordinary life can be profoundly meaningful, if you decide it is.
Embracing Hope — Viktor E. Frankl
A companion to Man’s Search for Meaning — smaller, quieter, but no less direct. I read this one after diagnosis specifically. Frankl’s insistence that hope is a choice you make inside suffering, not something that arrives from outside it, was something I needed to hear more than once.
The Choice: Embrace the Possible — Edith Eva Eger
The biggest prison is the one we build in our own minds. Eger is a Holocaust survivor and psychologist, and her argument is unflinching: total responsibility, release from judgment, love yourself as human and whole. The part that stayed with me most was her writing about not passing the baggage of your suffering to the next generation.
The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life — Edith Eva Eger
The follow-up to The Choice. More practical, equally direct. Face the past, heal, achieve inner freedom. I read these two in close succession and they became a pair I return to.
Tuesdays with Morrie — Mitch Albom
Quick, grounding, and simple. Conversations between a man and his dying professor. A rich life is possible even from a deathbed. I have three Albom books. I reread this one specifically because it hands back the present when everything else feels like it’s been rewritten.
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life — Héctor García & Francesc Miralles
This one didn’t resolve anything. It held the question open — what is my purpose, what am I meant to be doing — and I’m still not sure I’ve answered it. But it comforted me while I circled. Sometimes a book doesn’t give you the answer. It just keeps you company while you look.
The Daily Stoic — Ryan Holiday
One page a day. Short meditations on Stoic philosophy. I don’t read it religiously, but I reach for it when I need something steady beneath me. It asks small questions that turn out to be large ones.
A New Earth — Eckhart Tolle
About the ego, about suffering, about the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. After diagnosis, I was trying to figure out which parts of me were real and which were the mask. Tolle doesn’t answer that question directly, but he asks it in a way that made the not-knowing feel less frightening.
Oneness with All Life — Eckhart Tolle
A distilled version of Tolle’s ideas. Short passages. I read this the way I read The Daily Stoic — in pieces, when I need to zoom out from my own head.
Books That Changed How I Parent
I read most of these before my diagnosis, when I was trying to be a better parent without knowing why traditional approaches weren’t working for our family. In hindsight, they make more sense now — they were already pointing toward something I didn’t have a name for yet.
The Whole Brain Child — Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
The book that changed how I understood what was happening during my children’s meltdowns — and, honestly, my own. It explains how the developing brain integrates, and why some moments need connection before correction. This was one of the first parenting books that made me feel like I wasn’t doing it all wrong.
Good Inside — Dr. Becky Kennedy
The core idea is that your child is good inside, even when their behaviour is hard — and so are you. I needed that second part more than I expected. This book is warm without being soft, and practical without being prescriptive.
Peaceful Discipline — Peace Moor
A different approach to discipline that doesn’t rely on punishment or rewards. I found this before diagnosis, when I was looking for something that felt less combative and more connected. It aligned with how I wanted to parent even when I couldn’t articulate why the conventional methods felt wrong.
Simplicity Parenting — Kim John Payne
Less stuff. Less noise. Less scheduled activity. More space for children to be children. This book gave me permission to strip back when everything felt overwhelming — for the kids, and for me. In hindsight, it was also an act of sensory self-preservation I didn’t recognise at the time.
Courage to Grow — Laura Sandefer
About trusting children to find their own path, rooted in the Acton Academy model. I read this before diagnosis. It challenged my assumptions about what education and growth need to look like. Not every book on this shelf is one I agree with entirely, but this one expanded how I think.
Books That Helped Me Understand Neurodivergence
These are the books I read when I was trying to understand my children, myself, or both — about autism, sensory processing, giftedness, and what it means to be wired differently.
Differently Wired — Deborah Reber
For parents raising kids who don’t fit the mould. Reber is honest about how isolating it can be, and practical about what to do anyway. This was one of the first books that made me feel less alone in the experience of parenting a child the world keeps misreading.
The Out of Sync Child — Carol Stock Kranowitz
The book on sensory processing differences. If your child is overwhelmed in environments that don’t bother other kids, or seeks sensory input in ways that confuse people, this explains what’s happening and what to do. As a former OT, I appreciated the rigour. As a parent, I appreciated the compassion.
Upside-Down Brilliance: The Visual-Spatial Learner — Linda Kreger Silverman
About children (and adults) who think in images rather than words. If your child is gifted in ways that don’t show up on traditional tests, or struggles with tasks that seem simple while excelling at things that seem impossibly complex, this book will make you feel seen. It made me feel seen too.
Books for Your Child’s Bookshelf
These are books I’ve bought for my own children or used in my practice as an occupational therapist. Many of them are about finding your voice, managing big feelings, and learning how your brain works. I’ve grouped them loosely, but honestly, most kids who need one of these will benefit from several.
Finding Your Voice
For children who are selectively mute, painfully shy, or still learning that their voice matters — even when it’s quiet.
- My Name is Ben and I Don’t Talk Sometimes
- My Name is Eliza and I Don’t Talk at School
- Little Boost: Too Shy for Show and Tell
- Lola’s Words Disappeared
- Maya’s Voice
- Silent Sam
Executive Functioning & Flexible Thinking
For kids who struggle with planning, initiating tasks, adapting when things change, or managing frustration when things don’t go as expected. Many of these are part of the Executive FUNction series and work well read together or individually.
- I Just Want to Do It My Way — learning to be flexible
- Thanks for the Feedback, I Think — learning to accept feedback
- Time to Get Started — learning to take initiative
- My Day is Ruined — teaching flexible thinking
- How Did You Miss That? — teaching self-monitoring
- What’s the Problem? — teaching problem solving
- What Were You Thinking? — learning to think before acting
- Fix It with Focus — improving attention and focus
- Of Course It’s a Big Deal — managing emotional reactions
- I’ll Never Get That Done — breaking tasks into steps
- It Was Just Right Here — organising and keeping track of things
- How Do I Remember All That? — building memory strategies
- Pause Power — learning to pause before reacting
Choices & Consequences
Interactive books where your child chooses what the character does — and sees what happens. These are brilliant for neurodivergent kids who need to practise decision-making in a low-stakes way, and they ask to read them again and again.
- What Should Danny Do? — Adir Levy & Ganit Levy
- What Should Danny Do? School Day
- What Should Danny Do? On Vacation
Understanding Feelings
For children who feel big things but don’t yet have words for them. These books name the emotions, normalise them, and show kids they’re not alone in what they feel.
- When I’m Feeling series — Trace Moroney (includes titles on feeling happy, sad, angry, scared, lonely, jealous, kind, and loved)
- How Do I Feel? A Dictionary of Emotions for Children
- All About Feelings — Usborne
- Read and Learn series on Feelings — Child’s Play
- Percy Gets Upset — Molly Potter
- What’s Worrying You? — Molly Potter
Kindness, Empathy & Social Skills
For kids learning how to navigate the world with other people in it — paying attention, listening, being kind, saying sorry, and understanding that everyone is different.
Bucket Filling series — Carol McCloud:
- Have You Filled a Bucket Today?
- Bucket Filling from A to Z
- How Full Is Your Bucket?
- Growing Up with a Bucket Full of Happiness
Ninja Life Hacks series — Mary Nhin:
- Angry Ninja
- Grumpy Ninja
- Grateful Ninja
- Positive Ninja
Other favourites:
- Will You Be My Friend? — Molly Potter
- Sorry, Really Sorry
- Zach Apologizes
- Reach Out and Give — Cheri J. Meiners (Free Spirit Publishing)
- Accept and Value Each Person — Cheri J. Meiners (Free Spirit Publishing)
Behaviour Matters series — Sue Graves:
- Monkey Needs to Listen — paying attention
- Turtle Comes Out of Her Shell — building confidence
Growth Mindset & Brain Science for Kids
For kids who need to know that their brain can grow, stretch, and change — and that being different isn’t being broken.
- Your Fantastic Elastic Brain — JoAnn Deak
- Good Night to Your Fantastic Elastic Brain — JoAnn Deak
This page is a living document. I add to it as I read. Last updated April 2026.
Grow with their Flow 