Grow with their Flow

There’s a song lyric that has been on my mind lately: Don’t you ever wish you were someone else. You were meant to be the way you are exactly. It’s a message I wish I had heard more often growing up, and it’s one I hope to pass on to my children—especially my older son, who may be starting to feel different from his peers.

I spent many years of my life wishing I was different, wishing I was more. I wondered why others seemed to have it all under control, why things seemed easy for them, and how they balanced their life’s demands so effortlessly. But for me, it always felt so hard. I thought maybe I wasn’t capable of more, that I had to do less, and as I grew older, I accepted that my life would be less.

But time and experience have a way of reshaping perspectives. As I became more sure-footed, I realized I do have something meaningful to give to the world—I’m still figuring out exactly what that looks like, but I know it’s there. And now, as a parent to a bright, twice-exceptional child, I see that same path unfolding before him—the same challenges, the same moments of frustration. But this time, I have the opportunity to guide him through it with understanding, with reassurance, with a foundation of self-acceptance that I wish I had received earlier.

Right now, he’s still young, and these thoughts of self-worth and belonging may not fully take shape yet. But I sense the beginnings of them—the little hesitations, the questions about why some things feel harder for him when others seem to be a breeze. My hope is that, in those moments, he doesn’t learn self-doubt but instead learns that he is enough just as he is. That his differences don’t mean he is lesser but that he is unique, and that uniqueness holds value.

I want him to believe in himself—not just in his abilities but in his worth. I want him to understand that struggles don’t define him, that challenges don’t mean failure, and that he can carve out a meaningful and fulfilling life, not in spite of his neurodivergence, but as a whole person embracing it.

It won’t always be easy. There will be days when he feels out of place, days when the world seems to demand he fit into a mold that wasn’t made for him. But I hope that, through all of it, he will hear my voice reminding him: You are exactly who you are meant to be. You don’t need to change for anyone. The love you find within yourself will set you free.

Because if there’s one lesson I can give him, it’s this: self-acceptance isn’t just possible—it’s powerful. And no matter what comes, he will never have to face it alone.

The lesson I most want my children to learn is one I am still learning myself — you can read more about that journey in Why I Called It “Grow with Their Flow” — A Late-Diagnosed Autistic Mother’s Origin Story.